This topic reminds me of an incident which took place when I was about 10 years old. It was a perfect case scenario in which I was able to evaluate intercultural behaviour in a playground setting.
One of the aspects of childhood which I thoroughly miss would be the innocence. As students of our primary 4 class of 4A, we were an intelligent but wild bunch. We were pretty close-knit and had all our after school play sessions together. As such, it was a usual weekday afternoon and about ten of us were playing in the playground after school. We decided to play 'catch' which happened to be our favourite game. Initially everything went fine as I happened to be pretty good at the game. After a few rounds of successfully maneuvering around the playground, fate finally caught up with me and it was my turn to catch. Things were normal at first as I tried to catch someone or anyone for that matter. Finally, I spotted this Malay girl who also happened to be the prettiest one in class. I remember having had a slight crush on her myself just for her long, flowing hair. Anyway, she had her hair in plaits that day and I took the opportunity to grab hold of a plait of hair as I just missed her shoulder.
Suddenly, all hell broke loose. Before I knew it, she was screaming and wailing and I had no idea what was wrong. None of us knew what was happening. A few of the Malay boys from our group asked her what was wrong and she whispered something to them. In a few minutes the group of boys came up to me in quite an intimidating manner and asked, or rather barked at me asking why I had touched her hair. The other Indian and Chinese kids exchanged puzzled looks with each other. I was just as puzzled myself. I told them that it was an accident and that I had intended to grab her shoulder. That was when one of the more rational guys in the group stepped forward and told me calmly that apparently guys outside of a Malay girl's family were not supposed to touch her hair. That was when I realized my mistake and I apologized profusely to the girl. She finally relented and after a while we all went home. It was that day that I realized how strongly each of our individual ethnic values are inculcated in each of our lives and how important it is for each of us to comprehend and treat each other's values with respect.
One of the aspects of childhood which I thoroughly miss would be the innocence. As students of our primary 4 class of 4A, we were an intelligent but wild bunch. We were pretty close-knit and had all our after school play sessions together. As such, it was a usual weekday afternoon and about ten of us were playing in the playground after school. We decided to play 'catch' which happened to be our favourite game. Initially everything went fine as I happened to be pretty good at the game. After a few rounds of successfully maneuvering around the playground, fate finally caught up with me and it was my turn to catch. Things were normal at first as I tried to catch someone or anyone for that matter. Finally, I spotted this Malay girl who also happened to be the prettiest one in class. I remember having had a slight crush on her myself just for her long, flowing hair. Anyway, she had her hair in plaits that day and I took the opportunity to grab hold of a plait of hair as I just missed her shoulder.
Suddenly, all hell broke loose. Before I knew it, she was screaming and wailing and I had no idea what was wrong. None of us knew what was happening. A few of the Malay boys from our group asked her what was wrong and she whispered something to them. In a few minutes the group of boys came up to me in quite an intimidating manner and asked, or rather barked at me asking why I had touched her hair. The other Indian and Chinese kids exchanged puzzled looks with each other. I was just as puzzled myself. I told them that it was an accident and that I had intended to grab her shoulder. That was when one of the more rational guys in the group stepped forward and told me calmly that apparently guys outside of a Malay girl's family were not supposed to touch her hair. That was when I realized my mistake and I apologized profusely to the girl. She finally relented and after a while we all went home. It was that day that I realized how strongly each of our individual ethnic values are inculcated in each of our lives and how important it is for each of us to comprehend and treat each other's values with respect.
Hey Dhinesh!
ReplyDeleteInteresting experience you had there! Thank goodness that this incident did not take place in a conservative Middle Eastern community or not your head would probably be chopped off or something!
As I grew up in a Muslim majority country, it is very important for non-Muslims to understand the values and culture norms that this religion advocates. This is to prevent any intercultural miscommunication and conflicts. Even though Singapore has a different demographic background, I think it is important to understand this religion (and others of course) as after all, Singapore is located in a Muslim dominated region.
While reading your entry on how the girl reacted to you pulling her hair, I was rather stunned at how she made such a big deal for touching her hair. From my understanding, if a family allows the girl to reveal her hair, there shouldn’t be many problems in situations such as touching her hair and holding her hands. However, I then remembered that Singapore disallows the exhibition of religious accessories, including the tudung. I’m pretty sure that if she wore a tudung, you would not dare touch her hair right? Does the Singapore education syllabus touch on other religions practiced by Singaporeans? If so, how in depth is it?
For all you know, she thought your hands were dirty, and that you spoilt her silky smooth hair! Do you know what happened to her?
Chee Kiang.
Hahaha! Well Chee Kiang, as I mentioned, I really miss the innocence which we all possess as children and due to that innocence at that time, a tudung may not neccesarily have stopped me from touching her hair.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, as far as the local syllabus goes, it does touch on the various religions but not in as in depth a way as it possibly could. Otherwise, I would have known not to touch her hair! :D Either ways, she lived pass the 'ordeal' so i guess she was fine..... Eventually...
She lived past the ordeal, but I doubt if she ever became your girlfriend, eh?
ReplyDeleteVery interesting, indeed, Dhinesh! A well described vignette! I like the focus on innocence here as a subtheme to intercultural communication.
Chee Kiang mentions something about a prohibition again religious accessories in Singapore, such as the tudung. But I see plenty of ladies and young girls wearing tudung.
Thanks for the reflection!
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ReplyDeleteMr. Blackstone: The prohibition of religious accessories such as the tudung is limited to pre-university government national schools i.e. primary, secondary and junior colleges.
ReplyDeleteThere should be no restrictions in Madrasahs (Muslim schools), polytechnics, institutes of technical education (ITE) and universities. To all Singaporeans, please correct me if I'm wrong!
On another note, imagine what havoc it would create if Malaysia prohibits religious accessories in schools!